Mormons and Masturbation

Ooooooh, this is a loaded topic!

Look, I'm going to just go ahead and be as up-front about this as I was in my book, okay? I've masturbated since I was 11, tried exactly 1,125,393 times to stop (give or take a few dozen), lost interest in it after I got married (and my sex drive summarily died; I blame the lack of naughtiness and birth control), and in the last few years have discovered it again...not as a favorite pastime, by any stretch, but as a much-needed occasional release.

I have also suffered mass amounts of guilt over it, and if you've read my book, you'll know that I not only never confessed it to a bishop (because I believed I was a freak and the ONLY girl in the ENTIRE WORLD who did such a terrible, sinful thing!), but that I reconciled myself with BEING STRUCK DEAD BY GOD in order to NOT have to confess to it. No, really, I did; I went to the temple at 15 to do baptisms for the dead, and since I had neither conquered nor confessed my sin, I was absolutely certain that I would be struck dead when I walked through the temple doors.

And I was okay with that.

Because, really, the church has tackled the topic with guys. Remember Packer's talk from a couple days ago? Yup, only boys do that sort of thing. Except me, of course, because I was evil.

I didn't realize I was evil until I turned 12 and the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet was placed in my eager palm, of course. I thumbed through it (palm, thumb...I'm on a roll!) and asked my mom what masturbation was. She told me. I immediately knew I was destined for hell.

Way to introduce me to the Young Women's Organization!

So, I was evil. Turns out I'm not alone in thinking I was evil. That link? The one attached to "I'm not alone"? It's a former-LDS couple discussing in particular his struggle with masturbation, and a 5-part series totaling just over 20 minutes. It's also fabulous, shocking, moving, and beautiful. (Never thought you'd read "struggle with masturbation" in the same paragraph with "moving and beautiful", did ya?)

You know, it's really hard to follow those videos, but to summarize all my thoughts regarding masturbation:

• It's not evil. In fact, it's quite pleasant. Don't waste your time feeling guilty for it.
• It helps you learn about your body, including what you like and don't like.
• It can train you to last longer and enjoy more and better orgasms.
• Anything in excess is unhealthy; don't be excessive. (Multiple times a day is excessive!)
• Lots of couples enjoy doing it together or watching one another engage in it. That's okay!
• Doing it in front of your partner can help your partner learn what you like most!

So if you're still hung up on masturbation, rest assured that God chose not to strike me dead. You're not evil, you're not going to hell, and you're CERTAINLY not alone. After all, what are the stats? 95% of people do it, and the other 5% lie! Enjoy, y'all.

Oh, and...if it's not your thing...that's okay, too!