You many have noticed how opinionated I am. ....... I just am. And I think I am now fully prepared to express my opinion about Joseph Smith and his polygamous activities. I'm not good with brevity, but in the interest of your sanity, I will try.
I didn't know Joseph Smith had more wives than Emma until I was 33. I'd heard such things from anti-Mormon, Satan-persuaded LIARS, but I KNEW it wasn't actually true.
It's true. And the church said so. Read their essay of lds.org HERE.
It's received national and international media attention, and has upset a whole lot of very sincere Mormon folk, particularly those who were born in the church and are of my generation...the 20-somethings through 50-somethings. Why? Because we didn't know. Seriously.
I could make all sorts of points about spin the church used in the essay, about how and why my generation was deceived by the church, about why some people knew and others didn't, about the differences in reaction betwixt the Mormon Corridor, the rest of the US, and other countries...but it's all be discussed. For me, there are only a few points that really need to be made.
Briefly, the "revelation" on "plural" or "celestial" marriage was for one reason and one reason alone: to raise up seed to the Lord. The girl in question had to be a virgin, and the other wife/wives had to give their consent. Those were the rules as the "Lord" outlined them, right?
Well, then. First, Emma didn't know about many, if not most, of these marriages...and by the end of Joseph's life, had demanded that he forsake his other wives for only her. She did not give her consent. That makes him an asshole. Also, the revelation discussed how if Emma specifically refused her consent, the Lord would destroy her. She outlived Joseph. Either the Lord lied, or Joseph just said that because he wanted the threat to persuade her to allow him to get it on with other ladies. That makes him a total swine.
Second, Joseph married other men's wives, slept with them, and sent them back home to their husbands...except, of course, for the few women whose husbands he sent on missions to get rid of them. That's a douche bag thing to do, of course, but it gets worse. Not all women who marry - even then! - are virgins, and women who have husbands usually consummate their marriages, even if they, like most married folks, don't have daily sex, which means that if they were virgins before the were wed, they weren't went Joseph Smith bedded them. That makes him a lying, Lord-disobeying nymphomaniac, if I'm not mistaken.
Third, many of his wives report that he told him an angel had threatened his life with a flaming sword if he didn't marry them. Now, I know what you're thinking: who am I to doubt angels with flaming swords??? But I've doubted so many other things that this one more can't possibly hurt, which means that Joseph used the story as a sort of less-than-gentle persuasion to bed a multitude of women, and that makes him a ridiculous, narcissistic fabricator.
Fourth, yes, Joseph had sex with most of his wives. Yes. Yes, he did. You can claim he didn't, but then you'd be arguing that he let down god, whose sole purpose in re-instituting polygamy was to raise up the proverbial seed. Was Joseph not sharing his seed? Was he spilling his seed upon the ground, as the scriptures say? (PS: The only time I've ever been thankful for the KJV archaic language was while reading that passage to my kids.) If so, he wasn't raising up seed, and his polygamic practices were unrighteous and worthy of the Lord's condemnation. So either he was boinking underage girls and married women, or he was damning himself.
Mostly importantly, though, women of the period married on average in their early-to-mid-20's. Helen and Lucy, two of Joseph's wives, were 14 and 15, respectively. No, they're not prepubescent girls, which means he's not TECHNICALLY a pedophile, but they are very young pubescent girls, which makes him, instead, a HEBEPHILE. (And an EPHEBOPHILE, too, for that matter: someone attracted to underage, slightly older teens.) But I look at my darling daughter, not yet a teen, and I don't see a particularly big difference between a pedophile and a hebephile, and since very few people have even heard of a hebephile, I'm just gonna call it like I see it: Joseph Smith was a pedophile.
AND a prophet...right? Sorry. Even if I COULD wrap my mind around translating golden plates buried in the woods via a rock in a hat, or old Egyptian copies of the Book of Breathings for Hor translated into the Book of Abraham, or a prophet of god running for president..........I cannot get my mind around an asshole-swine-douche bag-lying-nympho-ridiculous-narcissistic-pedophile prophet.
[In my best Dana Carvey voice: "Not gonna do it."]
Because let's, for just a moment, make polygamy a little more personal: Just like Joseph when he married Helen, my husband is now 37. Unlike Helen, who was 14 when she married Joseph, my kids' favorite babysitter is 15. That's a few months TOO OLD to be Smith's youngest wife...and a couple decades too young to marry my husband. (Incidentally, I went on a date with a 34 year-old when I was 19. It took us 2 hours to realize we had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common...and the date ended shortly after he made crack about how I was only half a dozen years older than HIS ELDEST CHILD.) If I asked my husband if he'd like to be married to - not even have sex with, but just be married to!!! - a 14 year-old, his answer would involve a few unhappy swear words. I should know. I'm an ex-Mormon, which means I've already asked. Take into account our young-but-not-tiny daughter being not too far behind her sitter, and the fact that one HAS SEX with one's wife, and the answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT.
You, however, may not have a 37 year-old husband or a 15 year-old sitter, so let's try a different tack: remember that long, warm, welcome-to-the-family hug you probably got from your father-in-law on your wedding day? Imagine for a moment that he is a polygamist, and that as he hugs you, he is simultaneously battling an erection and his own jealousy, wishing he'd gotten to you first.
It is, of course, possible that your father-in-law wasn't present for some reason, or you've never known the man who would've been your father-in-law, so let's go a different direction. Joseph, of course, never made it to age 57, like Lorenzo Snow, who married a 15 year-old at that age. That's a difference of, what, 42 years? Or John Taylor, for that matter, who was 78 when he married a 26 year-old, for a difference of...FIFTY TWO YEARS. Now, Mormons tend to have kids young, and their kids tend to have kids young, and...anyway, say you had a child at 26 (which, by LDS standards, isn't all that young, and happens to be how old I was with my first child), and your child has a child at 26, making you a grandparent at 52. Now imagine your husband's best friend, also 52, shows up for the post-baby-blessing celebration at Grandma and Grandpa's - yes, you and your spouse! - and leers at the tiny little girl in the bassinet, then elbow-bumps your husband and says, "I get dibs." And because of how this polygamous world works, you know that maybe 18 years from now his 70 year-old body will climb on top of the 18 year-old body of your granddaughter and introduce her to the wonderful world of sex...and then see her in a week or so when it's her turn in rotation.
Aah, the joys of celestial marriage.
Look, the bottom line, in my view, is simple: Joseph was a horny, narcissistic hebephile pig, and everything else aside (and I could go on for days about that "everything else"), I cannot give any prophetic credibility to his existence. Them ain't just "imperfections" or "acting as a man"...them's serious, serious mental and psychological issues. And for 200 years, the church has worked tirelessly so that people like me, born into the church, don't discover the demons in Smith's closet.
It's a trust issue. I cannot trust that he was any sort of prophet, and I cannot trust the church to be honest or forthcoming about their own history, because even when they are, they defend a hebephile and spin that history to appear "more transparent", but still manage to cloud the issue and blame ignorance of Smith's polygamy on their most loyal members.
That's my 2 cents. Please comment with yours! :) 'Gina
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Friday, November 21, 2014
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
The Bishop ***Trigger Warning***
Read this post yesterday, but it has stayed with me. No, this is not the norm, of course, but there is a now-ex'd bishop in our stake that is currently in jail for molesting a few of the young women in his ward, and I think this needs to be addressed openly and regularly until the church adopts additional fail-safes.
There are LOTS of things that need to be addressed openly and regularly, of course, but the psychological damage caused by men like these - and like a member of OUR ward who was JUST arrested for molesting his granddaughter - is absolutely chief on my list.
Please note the trigger warning above. For those of you who have experienced anything like this in any way, you may not wish to read about this woman's experience. For those who haven't, I sincerely feel it's important to understand what can and does happen in private interviews.
Best, 'Gina
There are LOTS of things that need to be addressed openly and regularly, of course, but the psychological damage caused by men like these - and like a member of OUR ward who was JUST arrested for molesting his granddaughter - is absolutely chief on my list.
Please note the trigger warning above. For those of you who have experienced anything like this in any way, you may not wish to read about this woman's experience. For those who haven't, I sincerely feel it's important to understand what can and does happen in private interviews.
Best, 'Gina
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Mormons and Masturbation
Ooooooh, this is a loaded topic!
Look, I'm going to just go ahead and be as up-front about this as I was in my book, okay? I've masturbated since I was 11, tried exactly 1,125,393 times to stop (give or take a few dozen), lost interest in it after I got married (and my sex drive summarily died; I blame the lack of naughtiness and birth control), and in the last few years have discovered it again...not as a favorite pastime, by any stretch, but as a much-needed occasional release.
I have also suffered mass amounts of guilt over it, and if you've read my book, you'll know that I not only never confessed it to a bishop (because I believed I was a freak and the ONLY girl in the ENTIRE WORLD who did such a terrible, sinful thing!), but that I reconciled myself with BEING STRUCK DEAD BY GOD in order to NOT have to confess to it. No, really, I did; I went to the temple at 15 to do baptisms for the dead, and since I had neither conquered nor confessed my sin, I was absolutely certain that I would be struck dead when I walked through the temple doors.
And I was okay with that.
Because, really, the church has tackled the topic with guys. Remember Packer's talk from a couple days ago? Yup, only boys do that sort of thing. Except me, of course, because I was evil.
I didn't realize I was evil until I turned 12 and the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet was placed in my eager palm, of course. I thumbed through it (palm, thumb...I'm on a roll!) and asked my mom what masturbation was. She told me. I immediately knew I was destined for hell.
Way to introduce me to the Young Women's Organization!
So, I was evil. Turns out I'm not alone in thinking I was evil. That link? The one attached to "I'm not alone"? It's a former-LDS couple discussing in particular his struggle with masturbation, and a 5-part series totaling just over 20 minutes. It's also fabulous, shocking, moving, and beautiful. (Never thought you'd read "struggle with masturbation" in the same paragraph with "moving and beautiful", did ya?)
You know, it's really hard to follow those videos, but to summarize all my thoughts regarding masturbation:
Oh, and...if it's not your thing...that's okay, too!
Look, I'm going to just go ahead and be as up-front about this as I was in my book, okay? I've masturbated since I was 11, tried exactly 1,125,393 times to stop (give or take a few dozen), lost interest in it after I got married (and my sex drive summarily died; I blame the lack of naughtiness and birth control), and in the last few years have discovered it again...not as a favorite pastime, by any stretch, but as a much-needed occasional release.
I have also suffered mass amounts of guilt over it, and if you've read my book, you'll know that I not only never confessed it to a bishop (because I believed I was a freak and the ONLY girl in the ENTIRE WORLD who did such a terrible, sinful thing!), but that I reconciled myself with BEING STRUCK DEAD BY GOD in order to NOT have to confess to it. No, really, I did; I went to the temple at 15 to do baptisms for the dead, and since I had neither conquered nor confessed my sin, I was absolutely certain that I would be struck dead when I walked through the temple doors.
And I was okay with that.
Because, really, the church has tackled the topic with guys. Remember Packer's talk from a couple days ago? Yup, only boys do that sort of thing. Except me, of course, because I was evil.
I didn't realize I was evil until I turned 12 and the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet was placed in my eager palm, of course. I thumbed through it (palm, thumb...I'm on a roll!) and asked my mom what masturbation was. She told me. I immediately knew I was destined for hell.
Way to introduce me to the Young Women's Organization!
So, I was evil. Turns out I'm not alone in thinking I was evil. That link? The one attached to "I'm not alone"? It's a former-LDS couple discussing in particular his struggle with masturbation, and a 5-part series totaling just over 20 minutes. It's also fabulous, shocking, moving, and beautiful. (Never thought you'd read "struggle with masturbation" in the same paragraph with "moving and beautiful", did ya?)
You know, it's really hard to follow those videos, but to summarize all my thoughts regarding masturbation:
- It's not evil. In fact, it's quite pleasant. Don't waste your time feeling guilty for it.
- It helps you learn about your body, including what you like and don't like.
- It can train you to last longer and enjoy more and better orgasms.
- Anything in excess is unhealthy; don't be excessive. (Multiple times a day is excessive!)
- Lots of couples enjoy doing it together or watching one another engage in it. That's okay!
- Doing it in front of your partner can help your partner learn what you like most!
Oh, and...if it's not your thing...that's okay, too!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Sex Abuse in the LDS Church
There are entire sections of my book related to sexual abuse in the LDS faith...and unlike in the Catholic church, none of them relate to homosexuality!
I have spent the last few weeks trying to understand why, exactly, when a Catholic who read my book asked if I was aware of any ecclesiastical homosexual abuse in the church and I couldn't think of a single incident.
There are gays in the church, after all! If indeed approximately 15% of the human populace is wired for same-sex attraction, that means approximately 15% of the LDS populace is wired for same-sex attraction, so why aren't LDS bishops molesting little boys the same way Catholic priests are?
Simple answer: LDS bishops are usually married men with flocks of children who breed happily with women. Catholic priests are single guys who often live amongst one another and sometimes devote their lives to God to help them overcome their "fallen" desires.
So we don't have a lot of gay leaders molesting boys...but you can imagine that we have LOADS of married men who are VERY thankful for the desk between them and the teenaged girls alone in their office. (How many mature men do you know who can prevent an erection when a cute 15 year-old girl is explaining her obsession with masturbation? Whether she's in tears or not, the very thought "causes things to come up.")
We DO, however, have loads of women who have been or are being sexually abused. There are a dozen women with whom I spend the most time who are active members: K, M, T, F, J, A, B, K2, K3, J2, P, and T2. (ALL of these names have been changed; even their sub-letter is unrelated to their real names, fyi.) Of those women, K, M, T, F, A, B, K3, P, and T2 have been abused in some way, ranging from rape to molestation. K, A, B, K3, and P have experienced it more than once. K3 in particular has been raped by NO LESS THAN THREE DIFFERENT MEN...and as she grew up in UT (and would attest if she could), all of those men are LDS. SOOOOO...9 of 12 women have been abused on some level sexually, meaning a full 75% have suffered. 5 of 12 have been abused multiple times. That's ALMOST HALF.
Need more details? K was repeatedly raped by her husband prior to divorcing him. (I only count that as "one" because it was the same man, even though I can by no means consider it "once".) M, A, and B were molested as children by (in no particular order) a cousin, an uncle, and a brother. T, K3, P, and T2 have all been raped...K3, again, by three different men. F was molested at BYU, by two different men on two separate occasions.
I...KID...YOU...NOT.
The question is WHY?! Why are the numbers so HIGH amongst a group of unrelated people who grew up in different places with only the church in common?
My theory is sixfold:
I have spent the last few weeks trying to understand why, exactly, when a Catholic who read my book asked if I was aware of any ecclesiastical homosexual abuse in the church and I couldn't think of a single incident.
There are gays in the church, after all! If indeed approximately 15% of the human populace is wired for same-sex attraction, that means approximately 15% of the LDS populace is wired for same-sex attraction, so why aren't LDS bishops molesting little boys the same way Catholic priests are?
Simple answer: LDS bishops are usually married men with flocks of children who breed happily with women. Catholic priests are single guys who often live amongst one another and sometimes devote their lives to God to help them overcome their "fallen" desires.
So we don't have a lot of gay leaders molesting boys...but you can imagine that we have LOADS of married men who are VERY thankful for the desk between them and the teenaged girls alone in their office. (How many mature men do you know who can prevent an erection when a cute 15 year-old girl is explaining her obsession with masturbation? Whether she's in tears or not, the very thought "causes things to come up.")
We DO, however, have loads of women who have been or are being sexually abused. There are a dozen women with whom I spend the most time who are active members: K, M, T, F, J, A, B, K2, K3, J2, P, and T2. (ALL of these names have been changed; even their sub-letter is unrelated to their real names, fyi.) Of those women, K, M, T, F, A, B, K3, P, and T2 have been abused in some way, ranging from rape to molestation. K, A, B, K3, and P have experienced it more than once. K3 in particular has been raped by NO LESS THAN THREE DIFFERENT MEN...and as she grew up in UT (and would attest if she could), all of those men are LDS. SOOOOO...9 of 12 women have been abused on some level sexually, meaning a full 75% have suffered. 5 of 12 have been abused multiple times. That's ALMOST HALF.
Need more details? K was repeatedly raped by her husband prior to divorcing him. (I only count that as "one" because it was the same man, even though I can by no means consider it "once".) M, A, and B were molested as children by (in no particular order) a cousin, an uncle, and a brother. T, K3, P, and T2 have all been raped...K3, again, by three different men. F was molested at BYU, by two different men on two separate occasions.
I...KID...YOU...NOT.
The question is WHY?! Why are the numbers so HIGH amongst a group of unrelated people who grew up in different places with only the church in common?
My theory is sixfold:
- Women in the LDS faith (whether we feel it or not) have been devalued outside of our baby-making capabilities.
- LDS men see themselves as both powerful and justified, thanks in great part to the "holy" priesthood.
- LDS women are hyper-sexualized in the male psyche by the efforts made to de-sexualize them.
- LDS men often become obsessed with pornography and many of its fetishes.
- Because sex is so hush-hush, curiosity abounds and morphs into twisted experimentation.
- When men are "found out", women are often blamed and men allowed to "sin" again.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Sex
Yup, a post about sex. Why? Because when I chance to chat with ex-members who've read I'm (No Longer) a Mormon, it always, always, ALWAYS comes up. (No, that was not a dirty joke.)
Seriously. Always. Like this morning, when I had a phone conversation with a local ex-Mo ("the" word for former members in the ex-LDS community, I'm discovering), we chatted for probably 15 minutes...and then she brought up sex. "I read your book, of course, and you mentioned sex a few times, and I wanted to ask you..."
A few weeks back, I met up with another ex-Mo, and 30 minutes in, we were talking about SEX.
I've had many, many ex-Mos email to let me know that they are reading/finished my book, and fully 50% or more have something to say about sex!
The sexually-related topics range in nature, of course. Thus far I've had candid discussions about (and in no particular order):
Not to mention sex therapists are EXPENSIVE, and we know that the issues we'd have to bring to a therapist's table are things that 90% of "normal" people don't need to discuss with a therapist! To keep ourselves from blowing the cash and from feeling like total freaks, we turn instead to each other...but so few ex-Mos get out there and say "Masturbation is normal!" or "Orgasms feel good!" or "It's okay to use sex toys!" that STILL we suffer.
Which brings me back to my book. I very candidly discuss my sexual history, my enjoyment of youthful masturbation, and the sex abuse I (and others I know) have encountered in the church in my book, and I honestly think that, at least when ex-Mos read it, the light bulb comes on. "WHOA! LOOK AT THAT! She's willing to talk about sex...openly! Honestly! Without shame! That's a chick I really need to talk to!"
And I DON'T MIND!!! I confess it was a little odd the first couple of emails to be email-chatting with strangers about masturbation or sex positions, but since they KNOW I'm not a counselor and that any thoughts or advice I share is just my own personal opinion, I've sort of adjusted to it. Hell, it's refreshing to hear that I'm not alone, and that others, too, have struggled to "normalize" their sex lives post-Mormonism.
Because of the number of emails and conversations I've had from ex-Mos about sex, I'm planning to write a few blog entries on the discussion subjects I've covered lately. No, I won't name names, no, I won't discuss anyone's personal situation, but I DO think it's important to post a few entries about some of those points...most especially sex abuse, masturbation, and "keeping it interesting." Look for those over the next few days. In the meantime, feel free to leave an anonymous comment with your thoughts, your woes, and/or your sex-related discussion requests! Always, Regina
Seriously. Always. Like this morning, when I had a phone conversation with a local ex-Mo ("the" word for former members in the ex-LDS community, I'm discovering), we chatted for probably 15 minutes...and then she brought up sex. "I read your book, of course, and you mentioned sex a few times, and I wanted to ask you..."
A few weeks back, I met up with another ex-Mo, and 30 minutes in, we were talking about SEX.
I've had many, many ex-Mos email to let me know that they are reading/finished my book, and fully 50% or more have something to say about sex!
The sexually-related topics range in nature, of course. Thus far I've had candid discussions about (and in no particular order):
- masturbation
- sex abuse
- rape
- single sex
- married sex
- sex positions
- sex toys
- sexual fantasies
- individual sex drives
- sexual experimentation
- three-ways and orgies
- the list goes on.................
Not to mention sex therapists are EXPENSIVE, and we know that the issues we'd have to bring to a therapist's table are things that 90% of "normal" people don't need to discuss with a therapist! To keep ourselves from blowing the cash and from feeling like total freaks, we turn instead to each other...but so few ex-Mos get out there and say "Masturbation is normal!" or "Orgasms feel good!" or "It's okay to use sex toys!" that STILL we suffer.
Which brings me back to my book. I very candidly discuss my sexual history, my enjoyment of youthful masturbation, and the sex abuse I (and others I know) have encountered in the church in my book, and I honestly think that, at least when ex-Mos read it, the light bulb comes on. "WHOA! LOOK AT THAT! She's willing to talk about sex...openly! Honestly! Without shame! That's a chick I really need to talk to!"
And I DON'T MIND!!! I confess it was a little odd the first couple of emails to be email-chatting with strangers about masturbation or sex positions, but since they KNOW I'm not a counselor and that any thoughts or advice I share is just my own personal opinion, I've sort of adjusted to it. Hell, it's refreshing to hear that I'm not alone, and that others, too, have struggled to "normalize" their sex lives post-Mormonism.
Because of the number of emails and conversations I've had from ex-Mos about sex, I'm planning to write a few blog entries on the discussion subjects I've covered lately. No, I won't name names, no, I won't discuss anyone's personal situation, but I DO think it's important to post a few entries about some of those points...most especially sex abuse, masturbation, and "keeping it interesting." Look for those over the next few days. In the meantime, feel free to leave an anonymous comment with your thoughts, your woes, and/or your sex-related discussion requests! Always, Regina
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Another Boyd Packer Humdinger!
Have you read "To Young Men Only" by Boyd K. Packer? Probably not. Is it worth your time? Again, probably not...unless you need a good dose of amusement mixed with horror.
Howso?
Much like Kimball's "Miracle of Forgiveness", Packer offers one of the most unbelievable guilt trips I've ever read. It manages to make just about ALL men uncomfortable, and for those who are homosexual or who masturbate, I'm afraid it might provoke suicidal tendencies.
No, really.
Okay, first you have to read it. Click the link above, then come back.
Up to speed? Great. Let's talk over a few of Packer's finer points.
Women are railed on a needing to cultivate the attributes and desires of a good mother, yes, but it turns out, so are the guys! "This physical power...begins to shape and fit you to look, and feel, and to be what you need to be as a father." In other words, your body develops to you can make babies. But what if you don't desire to be a dad? What if you have other plans? You're S.O.L., apparently, just like the ladies. (Of course, you still get a career, but it ALL comes down to becoming a father.)
Next comes the "factory" section. Though he never talks about your testes producing sperm, that's exactly to what he's referring. (Imagine sitting through this talk with your dad, or worse, having your dad hand you a copy!) "Perhaps, one night you will have a dream. In the course of it the release valve that controls the factory will open and release all that is excess."
Read: "We're now going to discuss wet dreams, but we can't call them that, because that would be turning a sacred nocturnal emission of baby-making fluid into something perverse."
But then we get to the masturbation part: "Perhaps he is encouraged...to tamper with that factory. He might fondle himself and tamper with that release valve. This you should not do, for if you do that, the little factory will speed up."
Read: "Don't indulge your erections with release, because they'll just keep popping up demanding you attend to them!"
And the best part: "You can quickly be subjected to a habit, one that is not worthy, one that will leave you feeling depressed and feeling guilty."
There's your self-fulfilling prophecy, people: you're taught that masturbation makes you unworthy, and because it makes you unworthy, it was also leave you depressed and suffering from guilt. But what if you weren't taught that is makes you evil, and instead discovered it just feels really good? What if you discover - without someone else's influence - that orgasms are highly desirable?
What about feeling good leaves you feeling depressed and guilty if you haven't been told that you're supposed to feel depressed and guilty???
"It does not make you feel worthy or clean."
Really? Because before you made me feel bad for it, I was kind of enjoying it!
Thank GOD he offers us a solution to the problem: "Choose from among the sacred music of the church a favorite hymn...on that makes you feel something akin to inspiration...Make it your emergency channel."
Like the emergency broadcasting system, "Praise to the Man" will drive away those lascivious thoughts...unless, of course, your struggle is with homosexuality. Then "Praise to the Man" might not actually help. Instead of a hymn, then, shoot for prayer and fasting. You know, because if you sufficiently weaken your body via lack of food, you won't have the energy required to beat off...or something like that.
The ending of the masturbation section is my favorite though. In reference to the "procreative power" of ejaculation, Packer says, "If you misuse it, you will be sorry." I rather wish he'd added, "...because I will guilt you to the point of wanting to CHOP OFF YOUR PENIS to make yourself stop," but really, it doesn't need to be said; the threat is implied.
On to gay-dom! The entire first paragraph of this section bears repeating, if only to highlight his homophobia: "Now a warning! I am hesitant to even mention it, for it is not pleasant. [Read: "If you're so inclined, you sicken me."] It must be labeled as a major transgression. ["Akin to coffee drinking and murder."] But I will speak plainly. [No, you won't. You haven't thus far. You've never used the word "masturbation" and you certainly won't say "homosexuality".] There are some circumstances in which young men may be tempted to handle one another, to have contact with one another physically in unusual ways. ["As in, you might be magically drawn to touch each others' penises, and since you're not even allowed to handle your own.........."] Latter-day saint young men are not to do this. ["In this family, we don't indulge in curiosity."] "...Such practices...are perversion. ...[S]uch experiences can misdirect [your] normal desires and pervert [you] not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well."
So, dear gays, you are perverts who gave in to temptation and you've now defiled yourselves not only physically, but emotionally - you'll never be normal again without shock therapy! - and spiritually, meaning you've sided with the devil in dragging souls down to hell, not the least of which is your own. Sorry about those genetics. You should have fought the magical draw to fondle your buddy. Oh, and those genes? Yeah, scientists are pernicious liars in league with the devil...but since we believe that the earth is only 6,000 years old while they preach "millions of years", we already knew they were pernicious liars.
My absolute favorite part, though, is his illustrative story about the missionary whose companion made a pass, and the missionary slugged him. Packer admits that he said, and I quote, "...[T]hanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn't be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way."
WHAT......................THE............................FUCK.
Go ahead, K-O your comp when he confesses his struggle with homosexuality. The GA (he even capitalized his own Holy Title!) would have, but when he can get a Porter Rockwell or a Bill Hickman to do his dirty work for him - like, bash a 20 year-old in the face! - he can walk away delighted by the outcome, but never having had to get his hands dirty. And as for the gay kid? Well, his comp sure showed him! That'll teach him NOT to be GAY! (I can't think of a better way to help someone who struggles with their sexuality than a fist to the jaw, can you?)
Following shortly thereafter, "Many of the world would...be amused by this counsel."
NO, Boyd Packer, I am NOT amused. Sickened, disheartened, full of rage and righteous indignance, yes, but certainly not amused. I don't consider punching out a young man living to a higher standard.
In fact, it all seems rather chicken-shit to me. You keep promising the Lord will be pleased, and these young men will be blessed, and all I see is the laying on of guilt, the denial of God's divine genetics, and a homophobic, sexually-starved old man taking it upon himself to counsel young men in God's name to deny themselves an understanding of the mammalian function of their own bodies...not to mention an added dose of unreasonable expectations meant to supplant, correct, or reinforce an individual's personal desires for their life path.
Quite simply, Boyd, if you outlive Tom Monson and become the next president of the corporation we call a church, I fear for the souls, stability, and sanity of our young people. May God have mercy on your soul.
Howso?
Much like Kimball's "Miracle of Forgiveness", Packer offers one of the most unbelievable guilt trips I've ever read. It manages to make just about ALL men uncomfortable, and for those who are homosexual or who masturbate, I'm afraid it might provoke suicidal tendencies.
No, really.
Okay, first you have to read it. Click the link above, then come back.
Up to speed? Great. Let's talk over a few of Packer's finer points.
Women are railed on a needing to cultivate the attributes and desires of a good mother, yes, but it turns out, so are the guys! "This physical power...begins to shape and fit you to look, and feel, and to be what you need to be as a father." In other words, your body develops to you can make babies. But what if you don't desire to be a dad? What if you have other plans? You're S.O.L., apparently, just like the ladies. (Of course, you still get a career, but it ALL comes down to becoming a father.)
Next comes the "factory" section. Though he never talks about your testes producing sperm, that's exactly to what he's referring. (Imagine sitting through this talk with your dad, or worse, having your dad hand you a copy!) "Perhaps, one night you will have a dream. In the course of it the release valve that controls the factory will open and release all that is excess."
Read: "We're now going to discuss wet dreams, but we can't call them that, because that would be turning a sacred nocturnal emission of baby-making fluid into something perverse."
But then we get to the masturbation part: "Perhaps he is encouraged...to tamper with that factory. He might fondle himself and tamper with that release valve. This you should not do, for if you do that, the little factory will speed up."
Read: "Don't indulge your erections with release, because they'll just keep popping up demanding you attend to them!"
And the best part: "You can quickly be subjected to a habit, one that is not worthy, one that will leave you feeling depressed and feeling guilty."
There's your self-fulfilling prophecy, people: you're taught that masturbation makes you unworthy, and because it makes you unworthy, it was also leave you depressed and suffering from guilt. But what if you weren't taught that is makes you evil, and instead discovered it just feels really good? What if you discover - without someone else's influence - that orgasms are highly desirable?
What about feeling good leaves you feeling depressed and guilty if you haven't been told that you're supposed to feel depressed and guilty???
"It does not make you feel worthy or clean."
Really? Because before you made me feel bad for it, I was kind of enjoying it!
Thank GOD he offers us a solution to the problem: "Choose from among the sacred music of the church a favorite hymn...on that makes you feel something akin to inspiration...Make it your emergency channel."
Like the emergency broadcasting system, "Praise to the Man" will drive away those lascivious thoughts...unless, of course, your struggle is with homosexuality. Then "Praise to the Man" might not actually help. Instead of a hymn, then, shoot for prayer and fasting. You know, because if you sufficiently weaken your body via lack of food, you won't have the energy required to beat off...or something like that.
The ending of the masturbation section is my favorite though. In reference to the "procreative power" of ejaculation, Packer says, "If you misuse it, you will be sorry." I rather wish he'd added, "...because I will guilt you to the point of wanting to CHOP OFF YOUR PENIS to make yourself stop," but really, it doesn't need to be said; the threat is implied.
On to gay-dom! The entire first paragraph of this section bears repeating, if only to highlight his homophobia: "Now a warning! I am hesitant to even mention it, for it is not pleasant. [Read: "If you're so inclined, you sicken me."] It must be labeled as a major transgression. ["Akin to coffee drinking and murder."] But I will speak plainly. [No, you won't. You haven't thus far. You've never used the word "masturbation" and you certainly won't say "homosexuality".] There are some circumstances in which young men may be tempted to handle one another, to have contact with one another physically in unusual ways. ["As in, you might be magically drawn to touch each others' penises, and since you're not even allowed to handle your own.........."] Latter-day saint young men are not to do this. ["In this family, we don't indulge in curiosity."] "...Such practices...are perversion. ...[S]uch experiences can misdirect [your] normal desires and pervert [you] not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well."
So, dear gays, you are perverts who gave in to temptation and you've now defiled yourselves not only physically, but emotionally - you'll never be normal again without shock therapy! - and spiritually, meaning you've sided with the devil in dragging souls down to hell, not the least of which is your own. Sorry about those genetics. You should have fought the magical draw to fondle your buddy. Oh, and those genes? Yeah, scientists are pernicious liars in league with the devil...but since we believe that the earth is only 6,000 years old while they preach "millions of years", we already knew they were pernicious liars.
My absolute favorite part, though, is his illustrative story about the missionary whose companion made a pass, and the missionary slugged him. Packer admits that he said, and I quote, "...[T]hanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn't be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way."
WHAT......................THE............................FUCK.
Go ahead, K-O your comp when he confesses his struggle with homosexuality. The GA (he even capitalized his own Holy Title!) would have, but when he can get a Porter Rockwell or a Bill Hickman to do his dirty work for him - like, bash a 20 year-old in the face! - he can walk away delighted by the outcome, but never having had to get his hands dirty. And as for the gay kid? Well, his comp sure showed him! That'll teach him NOT to be GAY! (I can't think of a better way to help someone who struggles with their sexuality than a fist to the jaw, can you?)
Following shortly thereafter, "Many of the world would...be amused by this counsel."
NO, Boyd Packer, I am NOT amused. Sickened, disheartened, full of rage and righteous indignance, yes, but certainly not amused. I don't consider punching out a young man living to a higher standard.
In fact, it all seems rather chicken-shit to me. You keep promising the Lord will be pleased, and these young men will be blessed, and all I see is the laying on of guilt, the denial of God's divine genetics, and a homophobic, sexually-starved old man taking it upon himself to counsel young men in God's name to deny themselves an understanding of the mammalian function of their own bodies...not to mention an added dose of unreasonable expectations meant to supplant, correct, or reinforce an individual's personal desires for their life path.
Quite simply, Boyd, if you outlive Tom Monson and become the next president of the corporation we call a church, I fear for the souls, stability, and sanity of our young people. May God have mercy on your soul.
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