Parental Responsibility for Kids' Spiritual Welfare

I'm leaving the LDS faith...which means, WHAT THE HECK DO I TELL MY KIDS?!

That's a difficulty in and of itself. For the moment, I'm teaching them the same moral and ethical values I was before: be kind to others, live by the golden rule, share, say sorry when you do something wrong, respect others, revel in both our differences and similarities, embrace all that is good and positive, and love others.

The "love" part is the most important, of course; it is how we, as a species, will evolve.

But what about God? I don't know WHAT to tell them about God, so for the time being I'm telling them that "even though Mommy doesn't always agree with what the church has to say, or what the prophet has to say, doesn't mean God doesn't love me for who and what I am! He loves all of us, and we show our gratitude for our lives by loving others and being happy." For now, I believe that will suffice...and it seems like it has, so I'm leaving it where it is.

But a friend of mine called the other day - an active member, of course - and informed me that I had a responsibility both to my elder child, now baptized, and to the church: the church NEEDS "people like [my elder child] because [that child] is so righteous, intelligent, forthright, and kind." I was then informed that I should not stand in the way of that child's participation in the faith, that my child will someday convert a huge flock on a mission and become a great leader in the faith, and that I owed it to my child and the church to let my child attend to reach their maximum potential. Then my friend extended an offer: They will pick up my children every Sunday morning for church and return them home to me afterward.

....................I appreciate the offer. It speaks volumes for the nature and inherent goodness of my children, and is an indirect compliment to my parenting skills.

I do NOT appreciate the fear-mongering. Though their perception may be that I am preventing my children from reaching their potential, and misdirecting them in the paths of salvation, my perception is completely different, and as their parent, my perception is the only one that matters in regards to my kids.

I owe the church NOTHING; in fact, they owe ME THOUSANDS of dollars in tithing collected from me based on a series of lies. My children owe the church nothing; it gave them an absent father when they were little and a stir-crazy mom. It also offered a series of incredibly negative, self-esteem damaging experiences courtesy of ill-behaved peers and adult leaders with an inability to conduct an orderly primary program.

Additionally, I will NOT steep my children's brains in dogma; I will teach them to think for themselves. If my child some day decides to embrace Mormonism, serve a mission, and lead a ward, I will back him 100%. If, however, he decides to embrace atheism and become the next Stephen Hawking, I will also back him 100%.

Finally, if my children want to attend church, I myself will take them, drop them off, and pick them up. I will even dress for church, sit by them in sacrament, and wait on them in the foyer during primary. I will NOT relegate that task to someone else in order that my children may be indoctrinated without my oversight...particularly if the suggestion might ever be made that "Mommy was deceived by Satan and has lost her claim on the Celestial Kingdom." NO FEAR-MONGERING.

So...thanks, but I'm fairly certain my children will go a lot farther toward reaching their maximum potential by assessing the world, deciding (dogma-free) who they will become, and then working their tails off to become those people. Yes, the church needs intelligent, capable, big-hearted people to serve in a variety of capacities...so let it draw from its pool of indoctrinated, power-hungry peeps. My children have more important ways to better the world around them.