Another Terrifying Tale...and a Review!

I received a note from reader Chris today, who posted the following review on amazon and gave me permission to share it here on the blog. I always cringe at what the church's treatment of women does to the male psyche, and Chris's story illustrates it beautifully. .......... YIKES. So here we go!

"I purchased this book on Thursday afternoon and finished it Friday morning. It was like sitting down with a friend and hearing her story and being reminded about the Mormon faith at the same time. The author's insight and presentation of the doctrines and unspoken beliefs of Mormons are right on. I know that because I was a Mormon for 35 years, having done my time as a missionary, then marrying in the temple, teaching gospel doctrine classes, and performing priesthood ordinances. The book covers just about everything I can remember and would write if I had written one on this subject.

The author spends some time going over the sickness men perpetrate toward women in and out of the Mormon faith. I have a personal account to share, the most extreme one I have ever experienced, but not the only sick one.

I remember I was assigned as a home teacher to some young women when I attended a singles ward, a congregation made up entirely of 20 somethings looking for mates. My companion, since males were always paired with another male when assigned visiting duties, was a guy who liked to wear white shoes. To make a really long story short, he was apprehended the night before we were to visit our first assignment, a young blonde who lived with her parents... Apprehended, arrested, and convicted for being the notorious St. Peter Rapist. He received a life sentence for sodomizing his young female victims before he cut crosses in their backs and took their hair as an offering to Jesus.

I could go on for thousands of words about less drastic but still very sick, debilitating, immoral acts and deeds I saw in the 35 years as a Mormon. My wife could add thousands more. She spent 40 years as a member. We are together and happy, having both left the faith at the same time, well, she left a week before I did; and now are raising our two sons to be productive humans in a beautiful world.

The author (identity unknown) has done a fantastic job not only explaining the doctrines but showing how those doctrines and beliefs affect the way the average Mormon conducts himself/herself in the world. If you really want to get to know the Mormon people before you join their organization (if you are so inclined) then I'm (No Longer) A Mormon is a must read."

Thank you, Chris...not only for the positive review, but for being willing to share such a shocking, jaw-dropping experience...and your personal acknowledgment that I am nowhere close to the only one who has been exposed to the insanity of cult-style experiences. Glad you're free, sir. All my best.

And to the rest of you, all my best, as well. And happy weekend! 'Gina

Abraham

My husband and I were on a rare date this weekend, and we had a great time...so I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how Abraham (of the famous Abraham/Isaac/Jacob trio) came up in conversation.

At one point, however, hubs turns to me and says, "Seriously, 'Gina, if I got out of bed one morning and told you that God had told me to take our son for a walk into a neighboring community and KILL HIM, what would you say?"

"..................Um..............................................He didn't did He?"

"No."

"Just checking. Okay, then, I'd probably grab the first available item I could use for self-defense - a kitchen knife, maybe, if I couldn't beat you to the gun safe - and I would defend our children tooth and nail from your crazy-ass self while simultaneously screaming at our children to dial 911 so I could have you committed to an insane asylum. If, after a respectable amount of time, you did not improve, I'd seek a divorce. If I even imagined that any 'improvement' on your part was feigned, I'd divorce you and whisk our kids away somewhere where I could change our identities and never see you again. Basically, I'd protect my children...even from their Dad."

"That's what I thought." Then came a pause, and then, "So what the hell was wrong with Abraham's wife?!"

I thought it over for a moment, and then said, "Nothing. She didn't exist."

The conversation continued in a different vein at that point, but O...M...GOODNESS. Why had I never considered what Sarah was thinking? Why, as a WOMAN, had I not thought about her potential reaction to Abraham's sheathing his knife and heading off to a mountain with Isaac in tow?

Oh, I remember now: women in the Bible are insignificant.

In fact, women in ALL "scripture" are insignificant.

And so are women in the LDS church, who are taught-without-being-taught (thanks to decades of studying "scripture") that women are insignificant.

But Sarah aside, how is it that a Bedouin a few thousand years ago who is all ready to murder his son because he heard a voice tell him to is NOT considered CERTIFIABLE? How is it that a teenager hacking off a rich man's head and dressing up in the dead guy's clothes to steal his stuff (Nephi!) because "God told him to" is a HERO? Or good old Lot ready to hand over his young, virginal daughters to would-be ANGEL RAPISTS is the ONE GUY in all the city who is SAVED?

I could go on forever about the Old Testament (and may yet in another post), but let's limit this one to JUST the crazy guys who were rewarded for sick, twisted stuff.

Who is game? Comment with your favorite scriptural nut case who did what they did because God said to, or who did something awful in an attempt to please God. GO. And have fun with it. ;)

OMG, I Get to be a GIRL!

Had lunch with a fellow ex-member today (though, because my name is still on the rolls, I sometimes feel silly calling myself an ex-member), and she was a sheer delight...so much so that I wrote this entry early this morning, and I'm now amending it to include her.

Our conversation covered all sorts of things, but primarily our respective journeys, sex, and freedom...primarily freedom.

Freedom covers many, many things, but the topic of this entry is having the freedom to be a girl.

Specifically where fashion is concerned.

Let's start from under and work our way to outer, shall we?

I've worn garments for a very long time. I can honestly say that there is nothing more fun than waltzing into a Victoria's Secret with a credit card backed by my husband's blessing and picking out two dozen pair of assorted panties. Cotton, lace, boy-short, thong, satin-y, stretchy, easily-hidden, bikini, solid, stripe, polka dot...even cute clearance snowflake panties! And BRAS...bras that won't go over my garments! Bras that will lay against my skin and support my (not much of a) rack. Strapless, halter, lace, push-up, add-a-size, demi, patterned, t-shirt, racerback...dear heaven, the choices!!! And then to put them on for my husband!!!

Scratch that. There's nothing more fun than modeling for your husband all your new underthings. Talk about feeling feminine and sexy!

And then there are clothes. You know, things that before were feminine on other women, and immodest and inappropriate on me. GONE are the camis that extend the length of my top or shield my cleavage from the world. Gone are the below-the-knee skirts and - DEAR GOD! - SHORTS. UGH. It turns out my bust is a curve, there's a waist that differentiates my top from my bottom, and, lo and behold, I have SHOULDERS! And a CLAVICLE! And they're attractive!!!

No, I haven't gone overboard. No, I haven't bought any more hooker shoes - had those already! - and no, I don't have clothes to match those shoes. I own nothing backless, nothing bandeau, and nothing that will show off my brand new panties if I bend over to pick something up. I DO, however, have skirts above my knees...shirts without sleeves...stretchy stuff that hugs my curves without showing off my panty line...tops without straps...and the strapless push-up bras to make them look beautiful.

Because that's key. I get to feel beautiful now without worrying if I'm going to offend someone, or if I'm going to tempt a man to leave his wife when he sees my clavicle bone. I'm not dressing for a club; I'm dressed to feel good about myself. I dress to be pretty...without constraints or concerns. I wear what looks good on me, and I've learned what does.

I feel beautiful. I feel sexy. (Not skanky-sexy...more like "he looked at me and smiled!" sexy.) I feel desirable to my husband, and like he can be proud to walk beside me when we're out-and-about together.

And I love it.

I feel like screaming, "OMG! I get to be a GIRL!"

Seriously, I love no longer being a Mormon. Guilt is gone, self-loathing is gone, fear is gone...and guess what? I'm pretty.

Life is beautiful.