I have spent the last few weeks trying to understand why, exactly, when a Catholic who read my book asked if I was aware of any ecclesiastical homosexual abuse in the church and I couldn't think of a single incident.
There are gays in the church, after all! If indeed approximately 15% of the human populace is wired for same-sex attraction, that means approximately 15% of the LDS populace is wired for same-sex attraction, so why aren't LDS bishops molesting little boys the same way Catholic priests are?
Simple answer: LDS bishops are usually married men with flocks of children who breed happily with women. Catholic priests are single guys who often live amongst one another and sometimes devote their lives to God to help them overcome their "fallen" desires.
So we don't have a lot of gay leaders molesting boys...but you can imagine that we have LOADS of married men who are VERY thankful for the desk between them and the teenaged girls alone in their office. (How many mature men do you know who can prevent an erection when a cute 15 year-old girl is explaining her obsession with masturbation? Whether she's in tears or not, the very thought "causes things to come up.")
We DO, however, have loads of women who have been or are being sexually abused. There are a dozen women with whom I spend the most time who are active members: K, M, T, F, J, A, B, K2, K3, J2, P, and T2. (ALL of these names have been changed; even their sub-letter is unrelated to their real names, fyi.) Of those women, K, M, T, F, A, B, K3, P, and T2 have been abused in some way, ranging from rape to molestation. K, A, B, K3, and P have experienced it more than once. K3 in particular has been raped by NO LESS THAN THREE DIFFERENT MEN...and as she grew up in UT (and would attest if she could), all of those men are LDS. SOOOOO...9 of 12 women have been abused on some level sexually, meaning a full 75% have suffered. 5 of 12 have been abused multiple times. That's ALMOST HALF.
Need more details? K was repeatedly raped by her husband prior to divorcing him. (I only count that as "one" because it was the same man, even though I can by no means consider it "once".) M, A, and B were molested as children by (in no particular order) a cousin, an uncle, and a brother. T, K3, P, and T2 have all been raped...K3, again, by three different men. F was molested at BYU, by two different men on two separate occasions.
I...KID...YOU...NOT.
The question is WHY?! Why are the numbers so HIGH amongst a group of unrelated people who grew up in different places with only the church in common?
My theory is sixfold:
- Women in the LDS faith (whether we feel it or not) have been devalued outside of our baby-making capabilities.
- LDS men see themselves as both powerful and justified, thanks in great part to the "holy" priesthood.
- LDS women are hyper-sexualized in the male psyche by the efforts made to de-sexualize them.
- LDS men often become obsessed with pornography and many of its fetishes.
- Because sex is so hush-hush, curiosity abounds and morphs into twisted experimentation.
- When men are "found out", women are often blamed and men allowed to "sin" again.
