"What If You're Wrong?"

I have a very dear friend with whom I love to lunch and shop. She is LDS. I am No Longer a Mormon. (Sorry, had to.) Her kids are my kids' ages and older, so we have time during the day. (Yes, there are sometimes perks to being a stay-home Mom.) We went to lunch today, and talked, as we sometimes do, about "where I am now," as it were.

First, I adore her. She's one of my dearest friends in the world.

That said, today we were discussing how I DON'T sit down with true-believing members to recite all the Mormon Skeleton Closet History Tidbits I've absorbed in the last couple years because I have NO desire to blow anyone's testimony out of the water. I feel that if someone wants to know the truth, they will seek it out, and if they prefer to enjoy the delusion, it won't matter what I have to say, what evidence I have to offer, or what the real truth is...their cognitive dissonance will kick in, and they will continue to embrace the delusion.

That was fine with her. So fine, in fact, that she replied, "Good." Then came the kicker: "Because WHAT IF YOU'RE WRONG?"

.......................................Yes, what if I'm wrong? Well, then, I'd be acting as one of Satan's minions to drag people away from salvation, and I'd be destined for HELL.

Of course, that's if you're a true-believing Mormon.

So I told her I wasn't wrong, and I would gladly share all the information I've discovered with anyone who wanted to know what I had to offer. I told her I had no fear of the LDS version of God - no fear of God at all, for that matter, because a) if "He" exists, He is vastly different from what Mormons imagine, and b) I have come to understand that God is Love, and I have no fear of God.

Furthermore, I explained that "if" I was wrong, no one knows my head and heart like God ostensibly does, and He would understand my sincerity. Additionally, since He has never, EVER told me that this is "His" gospel, He must therefore take responsibility for my swaying people away from the church, as He has never directed me otherwise.

Then came the clincher, and she didn't like it much. I looked her in the eye and asked, "What if YOU'RE wrong?"

We were at an impasse.

She told me that she isn't wrong, either. She bore her testimony to me and confirmed that she has received personal revelation that the Church is True. And she told me that if she IS wrong, she will at least have lived a good and moral life.

But the Born-Again God won't welcome her Home. Allah will want nothing to do with her. Jehovah God will let her disappear into Gehenna.

My God? "He" just wants me to be true to myself, to seek out truth wherever I find it and however often I have to revise my thinking when new evidence is presented. Jesus was a hoax? Okay. I'm still me. The JW's are nuts? Still just Regina. The Jews could've clipped the side curls and walked right by the Wailing Wall? Regina is happily Regina. Allah is a crazy figment of a warped Mohammedan imagination? Regina's okay!

The Zoroastrians were right?! .......... Well, I'LL never know about it...and I still get to enjoy my coffee in the morning.

I don't need to be scared by threats of condemnation. If God exists - and I'm at about 60% right now in believing that some form of God exists, even if it's just "The All" - that's great; it means I might get to enjoy some sort of afterlife. If God doesn't exist - and frankly, I've seen no concrete evidence either way - that's fine, too; I'd better enjoy my existence while I have it to enjoy!

So what if I'm wrong? What if she's right, and I really DID need the patriarchal grip to get past the Celestial sentinels?

That's a God I refuse to worship...and I'm okay with that.

Besides.................I'm not wrong. ;)

Disclaimer: Just Because I'm Fallible Doesn't Make My Arguments Meaningless

As a member of the Mormon church, I used to occasionally hear arguments against the church, and one of two things happened, always followed by a third: 1) I'd dismiss the arguments because of something as simple and foolish as a typo, which typo confirmed that the person making the argument was an idiot and their argument needn't be heeded, or 2) I'd dismiss the arguments because of some character flaw in or sin committed by the person making the argument.

Yes, I really did.

And then the third thing hits, whether I accepted either the first or second situation: Cognitive Dissonance kicks in.

So I ask you to be more open-minded than I was. If you find my book and/or blog full of typos, sentence fragments, or even facts I've blown, please know that I am as fallible as anyone. I can only correct what I'm aware of; if you need me to fix a fact or typo, just let me know. (For instance, I referred to "Ricks" in my book by the name "Ricks" instead of "BYU-I." I fixed it when a friend reminded me that I needed to refer to it by its current name.)

If you've read the book, you know I've said and done some awfully stupid, unkind, idiotic things in my life. I'm guessing you have, too, so please cut me a little slack. My mind still functions relatively well, and my arguments still have merit, even though my life is full of mistakes and regrets. I am happy to listen to other arguments and concede to any correct point. Please be as open to discussion as I am, and as willing to scrutinize your faith. (After all, if it can't hold up to scrutiny, is it really "of God"?) I admit freely when I'm not sure, have no clue, or am entirely wrong, no matter how uncomfortable or humiliating that might be. I only ask for the same respect.

So. Thanks in advance for your patience with my grammatical errors, inadequacies, and foolishness. I look forward to honest and open dialogue, and hope you won't hold my foibles against me.